there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize