Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
