Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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