why didn't you poke me back
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
