so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize