I showed him my bush... on skype.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
