Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
