but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got inside last night via doggy door
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize