Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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