she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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