We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
