I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Panties = found
Randomize