i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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