Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Quick, to the slutcave!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize