I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
