no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
