No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My cat gives me a boner
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
