I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
