Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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