i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize