super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no you cant smoke seaweed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
