I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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