Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize