Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
