They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize