I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
