If i come over, it means nothing
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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