hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
