I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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