Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
