i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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