Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Still dying that you shit outside
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize