You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
