Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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