how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
