We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
