My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
NoShamevember. You game?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
