WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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