this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
