youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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