That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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