Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
