I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
