who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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