Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
