I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize