i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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