So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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