i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
