He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
