too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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