Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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