Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
