her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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