I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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