I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
