Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
