Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
