question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
