i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
