the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
