Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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