so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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