this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
