Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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