But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
