Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Holy shit dude........stairs
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
