dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize