I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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