I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
