Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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