Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
