We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize