Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
