i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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