i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
