WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
