Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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