I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
